I am a firm believer that aging is a privilege. I’ve always been acutely aware of my mortality. My grandma claims that on my fifth birthday I matter-of-factly said I didn't want to turn five because I didn't want to die. Woof.

I promise I was a happy child and have since expanded my view on aging, in fact, I grew up to be one of those people that really loves their birthday. I also love other people’s birthdays — everyone should have an entire day dedicated to them and the love in their life. I have birthday rituals (a strict no airplane rule, a fire ceremony, plenty of woo and card pulls) and like to turn a year older right on the ocean. I squeeze in as much indulgence and joy as I can: favourite people, cake, feathers, sequins, hot fucking pink etc.

So, cheers to 32 years and 32 lessons:

You are not your work. Your productivity does not determine your worth.
Most things in life can be distilled into one of two categories: love or fear.
Intent does not equal impact.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
Envy is often an indication of what you want more of in your life, use it as inspiration.
Read before bed.
Over communication is better than under communication.
The answer will often arise after time spent in stillness.
If you are having trouble deciding it is probably because there is no wrong choice.
Invest in those who invest in you.
Integrity is everything.
Big life events reveal true colours.
Order the dessert.
Life is actually long. Slow down, you have time.
There is no such thing as too much joy. Make room for more.
You’ll never regret being the bigger person.
Buy the thing. Money comes and goes.
Usually, the anticipation anxiety is worse than the actual dreaded task.
In the same sense, anticipating something joyful prolongs the joy. Always have something to look forward to.
Smile and wave at babies.
Don’t rely on inspiration alone, work to make it a habit.
Belonging and fitting in are not the same thing.
Your body is smarter than you. Listen to it.
If you don’t want to meditate for five minutes that means you need to meditate for ten minutes.
Your intuition will tell you if you’re in the wrong place. Have the courage to leave.
Know when to let go. If it is heavy, you will have to let go many times.
Under promise and over deliver.
Life happens in seasons.
The same lesson will keep repeating itself until you really learn it.
Practice being a neutral observer. Not everything needs to mean something.
You are not your thoughts. You are the one observing your thoughts.
Nothing is permanent. Ride it out or soak it up, depending.

A year older,

I’m what you would call a fire starter: I am really good at taking a spark of an idea and breathing inspiration into it and getting others excited about it too. In my lululemon days, we used to call this “bringing someone along for the journey”— not just doing things on your own but getting others excited so they can see and even execute your vision. It was a way of delegating and more importantly, developing others.

The trouble a lot of fire starters face is we tend to jump around from spark to spark, and sometimes this can leave embers unattended and left to fizzle out.

Embers can look like projects and tasks, jumping from one thing to the next with 100% effort and leaving things unfinished. If you’re working on a team, you want a fire starter to lift things off the ground, get things started, and get others motivated, but you need to balance that out with level, disciplined people to see the project/fire through.

When it comes to personal tasks, it takes a lot of effort to stick to something long term which is why this mornings meditation milestones of 800 meditations in two years meant so much to me.

A “good yogi” would be humble and not attach meaning to a milestone but alas, I am human. I also think there is something to be learned here.

Ten Lessons from Meditating Every Day

It doesn't get easier, but it does come more naturally
Just like healing isn’t linear, neither is a meditation practice. After all, it is called a meditation practice, not a meditation perfect. Some days I find twenty minutes breeze by and other days it takes everything I have not to peek one eye open to check the timer. Once I do settle in though, it really does feel like second nature.
Meditation can be surprisingly emotional and revealing
Some mornings I will think everything is fine and the next thing I know, I have hot tears silently welling up in my eyes. It takes some time to sit and feel the feels to understand why they might be surfacing. If it’s a guided meditation, the teacher could have said something triggering or more often than not, they’ve said something that resonates and makes me feel seen and thus a little emo. If I hadn't taken the time to sit on the cushion, I would often miss things and bypass processing them.
Not every teacher will be for you
There are some teachers who just irritate me or do not resonate with me, and that’s okay. If I find that my inner voice is really active or critical, or I leave a meditation irritated, it might mean that that teacher is not the one for me. Sometimes it can be something as superficial as their speaking voice, or sometimes it can be something deeper like I do not resonate with their philosophy or teaching style. Find the teacher that works for you and it will make all the difference.
Meditation really does help with sleep
More than anything else I’ve tried, a consistent bedtime meditation practice is the number one contributor to a restful sleep. It also helps with consistency; it is easy to remember to practice when I have my headphones on my nightstand and set myself up to meditate around the same time every night.
There are different meditations for different times of day
My morning meditation practice is quite different than my evening meditation practice. At night, I am focusing on releasing and relaxing and in the morning, I am focused on intention setting and energetic practices like breath work.
Tracking meditations is motivating
Using a tracking app really works. The reward centre of the brain, the striatum, releases a bit of dopamine every time I see the blue dot on my calendar or achieve a milestone. Much like checking off a task on a to-do list, completing that days meditation motivates me to keep going.
Five minutes is better than zero minutes
If that’s all you have, you’re still doing the work. The sweet spot for me is between ten and thirty minutes.
Sometimes it’s easier to meditate when you “need” to meditate
I have found that if things are going well and my anxiety is low, it takes more discipline to sit on the cushion than if my anxiety is high and I feel that I need meditation in order to cope. Meditation often feels like a soothing balm but the true magic comes when we meditate regardless of our highs or lows.
Make it sacred
I’ve touched on this before, but having a dedicated space to meditate has made all the difference. I know that my meditation cushion is designed to support my practice and serves no other purpose. I like to face towards the window so I can feel the morning light on my face when I close my eyes and I use the same incense every time to train my brain in scent recognition.
Your practice is just that, yours
Your practice does not and should not look like anyone else’s. What works for you night not work for your neighbour and vice versa. Just like you, your practice will change and evolve over time. The most important thing is that it works for you in this moment.

Wishing you plenty of long-lasting fires,

words

Intent does not equal impact.

The answer will often arise after time spent in stillness.

Life is actually long. Slow down, you have time.

Belonging and fitting in are not the same thing.

Know when to let go. If it is heavy, you will have to let go many times.

The same lesson will keep repeating itself until you really learn it.

You are not your thoughts. You are the one observing your thoughts.

on consistency: ten lessons from meditating every day

Ten Lessons from Meditating Every Day

yoga with ty